Merry Christmas everyone!

Well, the first (i.e. Finnish) Xmas is over and done with now. It was nice and relaxing and I ate way too much. Stu got ill. The vibrating cushion was a hit. And the weather was absolutely lovely and christmassy most of the day. Everything was white and frosty. However, in the evening the temperature rose and it started raining. Now most of the snow has melted and it looks rather bleak outside. :(

I suppose you want to know if I had been good or not? I reckon I'd been better than I thought... here's what I got:

256mb memory card for my camera (yay!)
Red bra+knickers
Black bra+knickers
Long underwear (umm...)
Best of Red Hot Chilli Peppers
Alanis Morissette - Feast on Scraps
Sandwich grill thing
A book (Tuija Lehtinen - Tähtiin Kirjoitettu)
Fire blanket (yes, a fire blanket, no sparky jokes please)
... and little bits and pieces.

I think the 'best' present of Christmas by far went to Stu, who got a tube a pringles from my mother. Class.
Oh well, still the English xmas to do on Boxing day so my list will probably grow considerably. :D Yeah yeah.

Labels: my life

I am going insane. I did try to sleep for an hour or so, but...yeah. Blah. I'll post a letter I wrote to someone. It's not that personal, but saves me the trouble of describing what I'm going through again.

"Uhh my head hurts. It's 2am and here I sit again, unable to sleep. Dunno what it is with me lately. It's like I go to bed, close my eyes... and my head starts filling up with stuff. With worries and stress about work, and with ideas and inspiration for new things. Just *stuff*. Buzzing in there, not letting me have peace. Sometimes it's really unpleasant and I just feel angst and depression. Sometimes I'm so full of excitement I'd want it to be morning instantly so I could start doing things. Either way, I just lay there, with my throbbing head, unable to sleep. Sometimes I get up, deciding that it's no good just laying there awake, that if I get up and do something until I feel sleepy, I'd be able to sleep again. Being up at 4am you feel like you're so alone in the world. Isn't that weird. It's like everyone else has cracked the secret code and they're floating away in their warm beds in their nice dreams. And there I am, in the dark and cold, alone. Hmm.

I suppose what I find most annoying about not being able to sleep is the fact that it sort of robs me of my favourite time. I really *am* a night person, and do enjoy staying up later and doing things. But when I know I have no choice, that even when I start feeling tired, there's no point in trying to sleep... it just takes all the enjoyment out of nights.

Ughh. Rambling on a bit. I suppose I should go and try to sleep... although now that I'm on holiday I have no pressure of getting up early. Apart from the fact that I hate not seeing daylight... Oh well. Hope you're dreaming nice dreams."

Labels: my life

Uhh the pressure is relentless... :D

I've noticed that different feelings and moods I have come out through different platforms. When I feel down and depressed I tend to write a lot. When I feel positive and inspired in an excited way, that comes out through visual formats, like drawing and taking photographs. When I started this blog I was feeling quite down and trapped and it was mainly an attempt to communicate my feelings in the only way I found possible. Luckily, I don't feel quite that bad anymore. In fact, lately I've been feeling rather positive, albeit all the uncertainty about the future and the cold and dark winter and such. I'm feeling quite balanced, like I'm finally starting to accept who I am and, gasp, that I might be good enough as is. Perhaps this is just a temporary phase, but in any case, it is a very welcomed development. What it does mean is that I haven't felt the need to pour my heart out in words so much... (and yes my book project has been on ice for a couple of months now as well...). So, I suppose this place has become more of update on banalities, rather than an insight about me. Which in a sense is a good thing as well, for it means that I am OK. :)

I'm also very excited about having new people in my life. Wonderful, beautiful, creative people, who inspire me so much.

As you've probably noticed, I've become completely enthralled by photography again. Have a look at my glass of ice water. Next I think I'm gonna move on to fizzy drinks! Ooh the excitement of it all. :D

Oh and just to make Colin (*spit*) a bit jealous, here's some self portraits of my new mate Richard. Boys, you might want to look away now, girls... oh you're there already... :P

Labels: my life

Ok ok, I'll write something then...

Well, Heathrow was a nightmare that day. I got there and everything on the board was cancelled or delayed. After endless queuing I, if by magic, got out of there, just two or so hours later than I was supposed to. Was home around 1am, which was quite good considering the circumstances.

The following day we were off to Stu's birthday cruise to Stockholm. We had a posh cabin, with a double bed and TV and a minibar... so it was quite nice. Stockholm was cold, but sunny. It was a really nice and relaxing trip, I think we both needed it as well.



Today I've been mainly trying to catch up with work and present wrapping. However, I ran out of wrapping paper. Hmm. There's loads of snow outside, and as I'm still in my (new) pyjamas, I don't think I'll be getting any more paper today...

Labels: my life

I should leave for Heathrow in about 14 minutes. The funny thing is, looking at the flight information, every flight in and out of my terminal has been either delayed or cancelled... And I can't 'temporarily' check-in online... Not looking very promising. And I have to be on a ferry to Stockholm tomorrow. Yay. A bit worried about this whole thing at the moment to be honest.

Labels: my life

"Has Mr Kipling ever directed a nativity play before??"
"No." "But he does make exceedingly good cakes."

Labels: my life

Grrr... I hate going to a new hairdresser. I suppose she was nice and all and kept asking me lots of questions, only to ignore anything I said... My hair is *so* short now :(. It looks weird and have cold head. The only good thing about it was that the place was very nice and, with the voucher I had, it was dirt cheap. Spose it'll grow back...

Labels: hair

*Yawn*. Can't seem to wake up at all today. Well, at least it's friday. And I'm getting my hair cut (Stu it's a bargain with my voucher!), which has been well overdue. Tomorrow I have to go to the bank to sign yet more forms about the fraud thingy. Maybe I should just make a stamp. Then they could use that whenever they need for me to sign more useles forms. Ho hum. After that I get to go and fight my way through xmas shoppers in Southend. On Finland's independence day of all days... Sort of looking forward to some photo opportunities though.

Oh well, gotta work some. I'll leave you with this year's christmas lights on Store Street.

Labels: my life

Angelina Jolie is a bitch.

Oh oh oh! Almost forgot to open my Xmas calendar. I got a cute little snowman. Bit the head off first.

Labels: my life

Oh my God I feel bad. Never ever gonna drink again. On a sunday.

All in all this day hasn't started so well, am having lots of trouble with my computer, it's very wet outside, have chitloads of work to do, will have to go to Helsinki to get my LOTR tickets (yay) and there's inhumane amounts of washing to be done (again). Oh and did I say I was feeling bad?

Probably not as bad as Miikka, Eve and Stu though, who had to all go *out* to get to work.... Don't envy that much. Was a nice night though, despite the football.

Labels: my life