Archive for the ‘my life in words’ Category

Friday, 4 January 2013

End of year survey re: 2012

1. What did you do in 2012 that you’d never done before?
Actual, full scale, public speaking.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
For 2012 my resolutions were to ‘to get closer to that balance thing, socialise more, get into better shape, and fingers crossed sleep more’.

In 2012 I gave up on the idea of balance and stated just adding ‘space’. I don’t think there will ever be complete balance, but I do feel like I had more space for myself last year. I did socialise more. Even though I’m not ‘fit’ in any shape or form, I did finally get over my injury with the help of a personal trainer and feel much freer in my body as a result. Sleep more… not so much.

For 2013 my resolutions will be… be kinder to myself, take more time to look inside, narrow down what’s really important, travel a lot – for fun.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Everyone and their aunt.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes.

5. What countries did you visit?
Finland, Spain, Isle of Skye, Italy, Palm Springs, Kansas City.

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2012?
Peace of mind.

7. What date from 2012 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
2nd June, Isle of Skye… such an amazing place, amazing people. 8th November, Bon Iver at Wembley Arena.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Speaking at the Beloved Collective Festival. Being named one of the Rising Stars of Wedding Photography by Rangefinder magazine. Finally starting a personal project!

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to align my personal life with my values and inner goals.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Finally got more or less over my lingering injury.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
Macbook air.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Susanna, as always. My lovely friends across the sea.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

There were a few disappointments, trying not to dwell on those.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Travel. House things.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Getting to go to the US twice after a very long gap.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2012?
Mumford & Sons – I Will Wait.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier & sadder.
ii. thinner or fatter? About the same.
iii. richer or poorer? Same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Reading books.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Getting sidetracked.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve at home with Stu and Sussanna, Christmas Day with Stu’s family (avec Sooz). It was a lovely relaxing Christmas.

21. How did you spend New Years?
At home, falling asleep in front of the telly.

22. Did you fall in love in 2012?
With new friends.

23. How many one night stands?
0.

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?

Homeland.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I don’t have time for hate.

26. What was the best book you read?
Joseph Campbell – Myths to live by.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Ólafur Arnalds.

28. What did you want and get?
5D mkIII’s. Personal travel.

29. What did you want and not get?
Kitchen & bathroom.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Moonrise Kingdom.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Repeated last year’s garden party experience for my 36th (that’s a totally insane number btw), made even more special by my brother coming over from Finland.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More sleep.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2012?
Dresses and long hair are back. Also loving the fact that biker- and denim jackets are back in fashion, back to my comfort zone!

34. What kept you sane?
Deepening relationships with amazing friends.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Don’t know if I was really stirred.

37. Who did you miss?
Miikka and Johanna, friends across the sea.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

So many people who are now such an important part of my life… I’ll narrow it down to Jesse, still can’t believe it took us this long to meet in person.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2012.
The only way out is through.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I don’t know where this fear came from
how I became so afraid of losing everyone
never been afraid of being lonely
now I’m becoming the one I’m most scared of being

I don’t know where this fear comes from
this fear of failing, fear of letting everyone and myself down
its growing deep into my soul
making me all paralysed and cold

It’s two steps forward, three steps back again
I’ll turn my face against it I won’t run
Courage and belief are my redeems
No one else can rescue me it seems

Cause if I don’t follow my heart this time
I’m gonna forget what this life is all about
I’m gonna take that path I’m going in on my own
I’m gonna take that fear and wear it like a crown.

Rebekka Karijord – Wear it like a crown

Monday, 17 September 2012

Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012, Palm Springs

Cross-posting this from MTP blog.

What an amazing time I had at the Beloved Collective in Palm Springs! I feel like my spirit was nourished, my heart filled to the brim. It was so good to see old friends, to turn some long-time virtual friends into flesh and blood, and to get to know so many new and fascinating people. The talks were inspiring (hopefully mine included), and I came home with a strong feeling of needing to do more personal work. I was especially moved when Liz Arcus talked about her ‘Hear My Heart’ project. So so brave and beautiful. It made me feel like I’ve been just scratching the surface for too long.

I’ve been a long time advocate of using Beloved technique in my portrait work, and I love shooting Beloved sessions. But in the context of the festival and the Collective, to me, Beloved stands for honesty. For people who seek something real gravitating towards each other. I love the atmosphere of support and genuine care, of encouraging others to be vulnerable, of the Collective being a safe place to explore the limits of your comfort zone, and push beyond them. And most of all the feeling of a community where everyone has something to give. It’s not about some being more highly regarded than others, but rather about seeing that everyone is special, everyone has just as much to give.

While at the moment my heart feels like it’s been split into little pieces and left on the other side of the ocean, I am so happy and grateful to have such creative, incredible people in my life.

Jesh, Jesse, Katie, Jeremy, Nicole… you are my people, with you my heart feels at home. James, you are so very special, funny and beautiful, I hope you will stay in my life for a long time. Amy, for you, sky is the limit. You see the beauty and it overflows from you. I can’t wait to see where your journey takes you next. Jonas, thank you for a glimpse inside, I will treasure it. Everyone who was a part of the collective, keep following your hearts for they are gorgeous, giving, vulnerable, strong and so full of joy. I am proud to have met each and every one of you.

Some of my favourite moments included the many discussions with friends, even more giggles, being moved by the presentations, judging the Beloved training certification tests (which were a roller-coaster of emotions!), feeling the stretch at a night shoot we directed with Jonas (styled by Jill La Fleur), changing my mind about things, a sunrise concert with Jesh & Amy, an evening gig with Kye Kye, receiving an Ambassador award for my efforts in spreading the word of Beloved, and so many more…

Here’s a collection of snapshots from my time in California. Get ready for some palm tree action.

Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012
Beloved Collective Photography Festival 2012

Wednesday, 20 June 2012

The magic of Isle of Skye

We travelled to Isle of Skye to photograph Sarah Anne and Jamie’s wedding, and returned with a heart full of amazing memories of this magical island and it’s people.

Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye
Isle of Skye

Tuesday, 29 May 2012

My soul is at home

Oh Cornwall, where I feel at peace. Such good time was had. The sun, the sea, the crash of waves against ancient rock. The power of silence, the healing magic of sea air. Until we meet again.

Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall
Cornwall

Saturday, 12 May 2012

Such a perfect day

Perfect days are made of this: sunshine after rain, good friends, long conversations, yummy food, music that moves, laughing until it hurts, falling asleep knowing that days like these are what memories are made of.

Jesh de Rox
Perfect Day
Perfect Day
Perfect Day

Saturday, 10 March 2012

A snowy weekend in Finland

At the beginning of March I went to check out mum’s new neighbourhood and see how she was settling into a new house in a new town. It was lovely to have a bit of a break and enjoy a few days of sunshine, snow, saunas and quietness. Although being further away from Helsinki made it a bit impossible to see any other family or friends in such a short space of time. I suppose there’s always next time…

finland
finland
finland
finland
finland
finland

Wednesday, 4 January 2012

End of year survey re : 2011

1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?
Some, erm, gardening (kind of). Birmingham.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
For 2011 my resolutions were to ‘build on what ever success I achieved in 2010, but also work on getting the balance in my life right. To have more time for family and friends. To take better care of myself. And to properly ENJOY the ride.’

I think I achieved the first bit with bells on, the latter part, not so much, although it is a work in progress… So my resolutions for 2012 are to get closer to that balance thing, socialise more, get into better shape, and fingers crossed sleep more.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
The whole world most likely.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
Finland, Scotland, Malta, Italy (twice, woo!).

6. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?
More sleep.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
25th of July as had a lovely lovely birthday party.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Maybe winning the title of ‘Best Wedding Photographer, London and South East‘ in the 2012 Wedding Industry Awards.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to balance work and life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Still dealing with the consequences of previous year’s injury…

11. What was the best thing you bought?
iPad!

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Susanna of course, and Stu goes without saying. Emma for keeping me sane and giggling, Steph for being my guardian fairy.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

No-one I’d like to publicly name and shame. But I am finding it quite hard to get over.

14. Where did most of your money go?
House stuff. It’s never ending.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Going to Italy, my birthday party, seeing Emma in a play.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2011?
Adele – Someone Like You.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter (sigh).
iii. richer or poorer? About the same.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping, socialising, relaxing, loving life, exercising. (No change from last year there!)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Stressing, worrying and doing things for people who don’t appreciate it.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve at home with mum, Pauli and Stu. Boxing Day with Stu’s family.

21. How did you spend New Years?
At home making Bellinis with Sooz & Stu.

22. Did you fall in love in 2011?
More and more with watching my couples in love.

23. How many one night stands?
0. (Imagine the year when this suddenly has a high number! :D)

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?

Californication, True Blood, Dexter.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is such a strong word. Disappointed for sure.

26. What was the best book you read?
Sarah Rayner – One Moment, One Morning.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
New to me more than new in general… Angus & Julia Stone.

28. What did you want and get?
iPad!

29. What did you want and not get?
Holiday somewhere warm. Kitchen & bathroom.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
True Grit.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I threw an actual party for my 35th! A lovely, lovely picnic in our garden filled with old and new friends. Loved it.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
More sleep.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
I did start making more of an effort towards the latter part of the year. Dresses are back on the agenda.

34. What kept you sane?
Other lovely people in the industry.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Riots in London made me so very angry.

37. Who did you miss?
Lots of people in Finland. Miikka and Johanna especially.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Emma & Pete, Steph, Ed… I can’t believe I only met these people this year, they are already such a huge and integral part of my life.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011.
You can’t please everyone.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
I was a heavy heart to carry
My beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown.

I was a heavy heart to carry
My feet dragged across ground
And he took me to the river
Where he slowly let me drown

My love has concrete feet
My love’s an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms
I’m so heavy, heavy
Heavy in your arms

And is it worth the wait
All this killing time?
Are you strong enough to stand
Protecting both your heart and mine?

Who is the betrayer?
Who’s the killer in the crowd?
The one who creeps in corridors
And doesn’t make a sound

My love has concrete feet
My love’s an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

My love has concrete feet
My love’s an iron ball
Wrapped around your ankles
Over the waterfall

This will be my last confession
I love you never felt like any blessing
Whispering like it’s a secret
Only to condemn the one who hears it
With a heavy heart

Heavy heavy i’m so heavy in your arms
(i’m so) Heavy heavy i’m so heavy in your arms
(i’m so) Heavy heavy i’m so heavy in your arms
(i’m so) Heavy heavy i’m so heavy in your arms

I was a heavy heart to carry
my beloved was weighed down
My arms around his neck
My fingers laced to crown

I was a heavy heart to carry
But he never let me down
When he had me in his arms
My feet never touched the ground

I’m so heavy, heavy in your arms.
Florence + The Machine – Heavy in Your Arms

Thursday, 1 December 2011

Every day magic and Malta

Cross-posting this from MTP blog, as it’s a personal post really. Written on the beautiful island of Malta, while we were there to shoot Andrea & Sean’s wedding day.

Marianne Taylor Photography

24th of  September
St. Julians, Malta

Have you ever had one of those moments where you suddenly get struck by an intense feeling of happiness? A moment where you feel like ‘everything will be ok’. It can happen anywhere, any time, and the best ones usually come when you least expect them. One of the strongest memories I have of such a feeling washing over me is from a moment when, years and years ago, I was sitting on a rush hour bus of all places, agitated and eager to get home – and suddenly some little thought unlocked this rush of positive emotions and made everything look so much better. The feeling was so sudden and unexpected that it’s forever burned into my mind. More often than not these moments pass really quickly, which is why I call them ‘flashes of happiness’.

There are ways we seek to consciously access those same feelings, often it means living vicariously through watching a powerful movie, listening to moving music or perhaps going through old photographs and seeing pictures taken at a specific time in our life. One of the most powerful ways I know of to evoke that sense of pure awe and happiness is watching an incredible musician performing live. It’s absolutely astonishing how much power a charismatic performance can have over us, how it’s possible to feel internally altered after such an experience.

For some (unfair) reason, us humans tend to concentrate on looking either back or forward, and while we do that, we often miss a lot of the present. For most of us, it requires a powerful experience or switch in routine to tap into those feelings of being content right now. I think those ‘accidental’ flashes of happiness are about much more than we give them credit for, I think they are reminders of our potential to be fully present, to embrace our lives fully.

Marianne Taylor Photography

There is this scene in the movie ‘The Hours’, where Meryl Streep’s character is telling her daughter about one day in her youth.

Clarissa: ‘I remember one morning getting up at dawn, there was such a sense of possibility. You know, that feeling? And I remember thinking to myself: So, this is the beginning of happiness. This is where it starts. And of course there will always be more. It never occurred to me it wasn’t the beginning. It WAS happiness. It was the moment. Right then.’

That scene and thought process have forever haunted me since the first time I saw the film. The simple realisation that we should appreciate what we have right now – not either wait for something to happen or trust it to last – but rather appreciate the ride for what it is and always be aware of our potential to feel deeply right then and there.

Hindsight is such a human infliction. So often we are either overly nostalgic, hankering after past and better times, or we are in waiting mode, hoping that we’ll get to experience those big important moments. Here’s a secret. Those BIG moments, those moments which up on a movie screen always seem so unobtainable and perfectly lit – in real life they are mostly always internal. You have to try hard to learn to listen to them, and grab a hold of them there and then – and most of all, try your hardest to communicate them to the people who mean something to you.

Writing this comes at a poignant time for me. I’ve just woken up in a gorgeous bed in a hotel room in Malta feeling happy. The sun is sneaking in from underneath the curtain and I can smell the sea. Later today I get to photograph a beautiful wedding on this beautiful island, and call that work. So this is definitely one of ‘those moments’, underlined. And one of the reasons I put pen to paper. However, getting here has come at a cost and a lot of sacrifice. Working pretty much 24/7 has opened my professional life in ways that I never dreamed possible. But while I lie here in my gorgeous Maltese bed, I can’t escape the fact that my other half is thousands of miles away, all alone.

What draws me into photographing couples is the fact that I love watching people remember how lucky they are, and I love being a mirror to their own big movie moments. Realising we have an ability to tap into that every day magic when ever we choose to properly listen to the moment, and reach out to connect with another person, is such a powerful thing. And as much as I love working with that magic with my couples, I think I need to realise more of it in my own life as well. While working so hard at trying to facilitate those magic moments for other people, I sometimes neglect the one person who should receive the best of me.

Marianne Taylor Photography

Generally it’s those special circumstances that make us realise moments of happiness – such as a wedding days where most of us let our guard down and allow ourselves to express our feelings and share something magical with our nearest and dearest. Or travelling to a beautiful place such as this, feeling lucky and stepping outside of the normal routine. And while these beautiful surroundings help me to tap into that magic and to these thoughts, the real challenge is trying to find that place within myself every rainy day in the office, every grey week full of routines, as often as possible.

After all, wouldn’t it be pretty amazing is you could feel that way about your life most of the time? Why do we allow ourselves to make memories only at special circumstances? Waking up next to the one you love and letting them know you’re there for them, or really listening to your mum instead of being ‘too busy’ with your life, reaching out to stranger and learning who they really are, these things could open up an opportunity to create one of those moments every day.

The cruel thing about life, and equally what makes it so precious, is this – the only thing you can be sure of is that you are alive now, right at this moment.

So what are you going to do to make this moment magical?

Saturday, 1 January 2011

End of year survey re: 2010

London New Year 2011

1. What did you do in 2010 that you’d never done before?
Bought property in the UK.

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolution for 2010 was tohave the strength push towards taking the final steps into a more emancipated way of living, and once you get there, remember to enjoy what you’ve achieved, but never stop working towards being better/happier/closer to where you want to be. I definitely achieved the emancipation, no doubt about that. I haven’t really had time to enjoy it all yet though, it’s been such a whirlwind of a year. Very very satisfying, but hard work none the less. For 2011 my resolution is to build on what ever success I achieved in 2010, but also work on getting the balance in my life right. To have more time for family and friends. To take better care of myself. And to properly ENJOY the ride.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Seems like everyone is on their 4th round already. 2010 was the year where I completely lost the plot on what’s happening in ‘normal life’.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No.

5. What countries did you visit?
France, Finland and ALL over the UK.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Some downtime with friends.

7. What date from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
12th of August when we finally completed on our new flat. It was a long road, but it was such a relief to finally be able to step through our own front door.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Finally resigning from the ‘day job’ and becoming a  full-time photographer.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being able to balance work and life.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I had an accident in May where I pulled the ligaments in my ankle. This having happened right at the beginning of the busiest wedding season meant that I had to work through some horrid pain over the summer.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
A home.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Susanna continued to be a rock. I also am very appreciative of all the support I’ve gotten from Stu this year, it never goes unnoticed even if I don’t always remember to express my gratitude.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

I think I’ve grown a pretty thick skin this year as a result of having to deal with customer service. Not many things affect me negatively any more, but sometimes lack of respect can sting.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Home, home, home. Can you say ‘money pit’.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Jesh de Rox Life {as an artform} workshop. My new floor. Seeing Imogen Heap live – twice.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2010?
Citizen Cope – Fame.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Happier x 1000.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping, socialising, relaxing, loving life, exercising. (No change from last year there!)

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Over-delivering.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve at home with Stu. Boxing Day with Stu’s family.

21. How did you spend New Years?
At home surrounded by boxes of office stuff while S stripped wallpaper.

22. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Possibly fell more in love with witnessing love.

23. How many one night stands?
0.

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?

Good Wife, True Blood, Vampire *cough* Diaries.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
I’ve been disillusioned with a lot of people.

26. What was the best book you read?
Emma Donoghue – Room. So so good.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Really should make more of an effort with new music… Sebastien Schuller, Rebekka Karijord, Florence + the Machine.

28. What did you want and get?
Work for myself successfully. Grey walls and wooden floor in my own home.

29. What did you want and not get?
iPad.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Inception.

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Woke up in a little room in a Chateau in rural France after having photographed Alix & Manu’s wedding the previous day. Spent the rest of the day on a scary trip home. Turned 34 (which looks completely insane in black and white).

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Lack of pain.

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Pyjamas vs. black.

34. What kept you sane?
Succeeding. Which proved I wasn’t insane to attempt it.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin.

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Burn a Koran Day man. Although ‘stirred’ is a bit strong. Wikileaks.

37. Who did you miss?
Everyone. Especially Miikka.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

Maz and the girls from WWJD camp. Rosie. Lots of lovely people I’ve got to know through Twitter. And so many awesome clients.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.
Be authentic and it will resonate with the right people.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Your love is better than ice cream
Better than anything else that I’ve tried
And your love is better than ice cream
Everyone here know how to fight

And it’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from

Your love is better than chocolate
Better than anything else that
I’ve tried
Oh love is better than chocolate
Everyone here knows how to cry

It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down
It’s a long way down to the place
Where we started from..
.
Sarah McLachlan – Ice Cream

Tuesday, 21 December 2010

Merry Christmas!

I couldn’t very well let the whole year slip by without even wishing you all a very Happy Christmas!

I’m not gonna do the whole apologising for my absence thing, the best I can do is to promise to try to have a bit more time for myself, my personal photography, and this blog next year. Over the holidays I’m hoping to finally dig up some personal images that I’ve completely neglected to even get off cards, much less blog, as I’ve been so busy all year. That’s a start right?

Christmas 2010
Christmas 2010

Sunday, 3 January 2010

End of the year survey re:2009


1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Cruised on the Thames twice (even if it was for work, still cool).

2. Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
My resolution for 2009 was to ‘remember to see the big picture and keep working towards goals that might not be clearly in view just yet’. I think I did do that. It has been damn hard, feeling almost impossible at times, but I think I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. For 2010 my resolution could be to have the strength push towards taking the final steps into a more emancipated way of living, and once you get there, remember to enjoy what you’ve achieved, but never stop working towards being better/happier/closer to where you want to be.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Well, he probably didn’t give birth per say, but Ride became a father in December.

4. Did anyone close to you die?
No. For which I’m grateful for. I don’t think I could have handled that sort of things this year.

5. What countries did you visit?
France, Switzerland and Finland.

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
A HOLIDAY. One that lasted more than 2 days.

7. What date from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I don’t know the exact date, the whole year is pretty blurry on dates. But there was one specific moment when it really hit me that hey, I’m a professional photographer – people pay me to take their picture. I know it sounds simple, but it’s a pretty profound shift inside.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Taking my business to the level it is at now in such a short space of time. There’s nothing big headed about that statement, I have worked fricking hard for it and I am proud of myself for it.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Sometimes losing sight of the goals and sinking into a funk. Not having time for anyone, least of all my loved ones or myself.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Funnily enough, I’ve been pretty ok this year. I’ve only gotten ill on the few days that I’ve had off. I guess the body sort of ‘gets with the program’ when it realises there are no other options but to push through and live on pure adrenalin. Probably can’t go on forever though.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My tilt shift lens, hands down. Plus quite a lot of other photography-related things.

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Susanna has proven to be an absolute star this year. Both on professional and personal front.

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?

There are some people that have disappointed me… by getting annoyed that I haven’t been in touch (through lack of time), or by dropping all communication whatsoever. Phone lines for example work in both directions.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Camera gear.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Booking a shedload of exciting weddings.

16. What songs will always remind you of 2009?
Kings of Leon - Closer.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? Both.
ii. thinner or fatter? Fatter.
iii. richer or poorer? Richer.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Sleeping, socialising, relaxing, loving life, exercising.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worrying.

20. How did you spend Christmas?

Christmas Eve at home with Stu. Christmas Day and Boxing Day with Stu’s family.

21. How did you spend New Years?
Sitting in a sauna in very snowy Finland.

22. Did you fall in love in 2009?
In some ways.

23. How many one night stands?
0.

24. What were your favourite TV programmes?

True Blood, err… nothing else comes to mind.

25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
Hate is a strong word, but certainly dislike.

26. What was the best book you read?
Hmm, maybe Audrey Niffenegger – The Time Traveler’s Wife.

27. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Crikey… haven’t had much time for that. Damien Jurado, Citizen Cope, Tiny Vipers… oh and Kings of Leon, as I’m always late to the party. :P

28. What did you want and get?
To make a success of my business.

29. What did you want and not get?
To find and buy a flat.

30. What was your favourite film of this year?
Burn After Reading (although this was probably released in 2008).

31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
Shot Eleni & David’s wedding. I turned 33. Jaysus.

32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Not having two full time jobs…

33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
A complete meltdown.

34. What kept you sane?
Self belief.

35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Colin. (And also Robert Pattinson… just a little bit. Sorry Colin)

36. What political issue stirred you the most?
Stirred? None.

37. Who did you miss?
Everyone.

38. Who was the best new person you met?

So many lovely clients, some of whom have become friends.

39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
You can do things you never thought capable of when you put your mind to it.

40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Not now but soon,
The most beautiful light
Will wake us to pillow fighting excitement

Not now but soon,
Bright into
Every corner,
Satellites manoeuvre in beams of change,

Standing by the best days of our lives,
Magnificent, the best days of our lives,
Big bang boom, the best days of our lives
They’re coming right up
If we can just get through this one.

Who said it was over?
It’s as good as it gets
Well we’ve got a few tricks up our sleeves yet

If we swallow “it’s all over” and open wide on these make-to-believe
Sullen, chewed up, sodden soliloquies,
Oh, we’re sweet nothings anymore

Terrifying best, days of our lives
We’re hanging on the best days of our lives
No two ways about it, best days of our lives
They’re coming right up, if we can just get through this one.

I’ll hang on grab onto your feet
Someone else holds tied to my shoelaces
When their trouser leg tears, runs and stops at the seam to keep us
dangled together
Until help finds us here

I’ll hang on grab onto your feet
Someone else holds tied to my shoelaces
When their trouser leg tears, runs and stops at the seam to keep us
dangled together
Until help finds us here

Best days of our lives
Better be the best days of our lives
Bring on the best days of our lives
Coming right up, woah
Coming right up
If we can just get through this one.

Imogen Heap – Not Now But Soon

Monday, 26 October 2009

Tiiiired + chocolate schooling

Oh man am I tired today. Starting work at 8am is definitely not my thing. :|

But looksie here, on Sunday I actually did something that wasn’t work-related, so I now can offer you this very rare ‘normal life’ themed blog entry. You lucky, lucky people. What happened was that last Christmas all the Taylor siblings, and their better halves, got gifted with these ‘experience vouchers’ for a chocolate workshop. It took us 10 months to get organised enough to actually book and attend this strange sounding occasion (which is odd since you’d think the idea of chocolate was a tad more motivating wouldn’t you) – and yesterday was finally the big day.

When we met with Nikki, Ian, Chris and Amy outside the course centre, there were a load of other people there waiting for the workshop to start, which got us all a bit nervous – I certainly got that first day of school sort of feeling. Stu gave his best shot trying to persuade everyone that going straight down the pub would be a much more sensible thing to do, but our curiosity won over in the end. We followed the others (who, incidentally, asked us whether we were the ‘chocolate lovers’… umm) in and down to the cellar. Once there, the first thing we had to do was to get kitted out with lovely plastic aprons. At this point it was all looking suspiciously like a mortuary experience, rather than anything chocolate-related.

Looks more like the mortuary workshop... on Twitpic

Once we took our seats things kicked off with our ‘teacher’ telling us about the history of chocolate, with other people in the room actually sticking their hands up and answering her questions while our table snickered in the corner. Quite disconcertingly, the next stage involved ‘volunteers’ going up and demonstrating things in front of the ‘class’. Terrifying. I had to fight my natural instinct to flee at this point as my mind was catapulted 20 years backwards into a school classroom.

At weird chocalate school. Have urge to run. on Twitpic

Luckily the latter part of the day was a bit more fun as we got our hands dirty – quite literally and exuberantly. I was pretty proud of my efforts until I made the mistake of looking over to the other tables and seeing their professional level (non-messy) creations. I somehow get the feeling that we were the only group who had been gifted this experience, while the other folk in attendance had actually paid for it themselves and took it all quite seriously. Oh well.

Carnage. on Twitpic

Messy as it was, the actual making the choccies bit was pretty good fun, and we got to go away with a bag full of goodies made by our very own hands (boy did I feel ill in the evening).

After the workshop Stu finally got his wish as we went for a nice meal (albeit in a strange place [yes yes, chosen by me]) and to the pub, before heading home. Scary school flashbacks aside, it was really nice hanging out with the Taylor gang after a very long while. I do miss living closer to them and seeing them more often. We’re off to Rayleigh next Sunday for the first time in a long time, and hopefully I’ll get to see at least some of the new houses everyone else seems to have been buying lately. :D

Wednesday, 7 October 2009

Monthly round-up and a bit of a slump

The Autumn somehow creeped in from around the corner while I wasn’t looking. Suddenly the days are getting shorter and the rain wetter. I’ve just realised that’s it’s now pretty much a year since I started my photography business. A year of 13 hour days and working all weekends. I think I’ve had about 5 days ‘off’ in the last year. If someone had come to me with this sort of proposition at the beginning of it all I would have laughed and ran away pretty promptly. But somehow, when you’re in it, and you have to do it, you just get on with it. I’m glad I have a two month break from weddings now, even if my weekends are still filled with other kind of shoots and business-related work. It still feels a little less crushing than the pressure weddings, and editing them etc., puts on you. I do love shooting, no doubt, but unfortunately running a business is probably about 20% shooting and 80% of all the other gubbins.

I am pretty amazed and happy about what I have managed to accomplish in just a year, and how quickly I seem to have established my business. I have a healthy amount of weddings booked for next year, and currently get more inquiries than I am able to accommodate. People keep telling me how ‘lucky’ I’ve been, getting my business established and actually making some sort of profit so quickly (I did make a pretty big loss in the first financial year, mind). I do believe you make your own luck though, by trusting your gut feeling and your abilities, being honest about who you are, and by working bloody hard. Luck alone gets nothing done unless you put the hours in.

At the moment I find myself in a bit of a slump. I think it’s because I’ve just realised that the summer just whizzed by without me even noticing. We’ve also started looking around for somewhere to buy, which is demoralising to say the least. Prices are astronomical, and no amount of working or saving seems to get us anywhere closer to a deposit for anything decent. I’ve just moved from searching for two bedroom sh*tholes onto searching for one bedroom sh*tholes. Cheery. I miss our flat in Finland.

I guess there’s nothing else to do than to keep your head down and plough on, and hold on to the faith that it will all be worth it in the end.

And since it’s become a bit of a routine, here are a few images from last month.


Magali & Jeff got married.


Had a blast shooting Sophie & Henry‘s engagement photos.


I made a bit of a departure by doing a jewellery shoot for Melanie Eddy.


Trinh & Alastair got married.


Had an engagement session with Heather & Mark.


Took baby portraits of Jodie


…and Alice.

Thursday, 3 September 2009

Hello time, where do you go and hide?

How has another month slipped by again?? Perplexing… I don’t mean to neglect this blog, honest. Somehow time just, disappears.

Right, what has happened in the last month then. Well, S and I celebrated 10 years together (I say celebrated, we got chinese take away :P), which is another perplexing time vacuum conundrum in itself. I think the rest of the month will be explained via the images below. Very sorry to re-hash content from the other blog, but have no time to take other photos at the moment. Hopefully I will get to do some personal projects again in the winter months.



Eleni & David got married on my birthday. (Oh and someone asked me what I do with my t/s lens, so here’s one example.)



Baby Lucinda was born.



The first couple to ever officially book me (back what seems like a lifetime ago), Sarah & Dan, finally got married.



I did an engagement shoot with Ana & Alan for charity.



Carolyn & Marc had a kick-ass wedding at Leadenhall Market.



And finally, I got to return to The Garden Museum for Claire & Ben’s wedding.



Oh completely forgot to add Georgina & Mark‘s engagement session on the last day of August! :D

So that’s August pretty much wrapped up. It’s been hectic to say the least, but has also included some real high points of the summer. Tonight Sooz is dragging me to Westfield for a ‘mini makeover’ of some sort. Let’s see just how small they manage to make me (it was a bad joke the first time round and hasn’t really improved, sorry).

Monday, 27 July 2009

Another year older

Poof. Another year has yet again disappeared somewhere, as I turned 33 (yikes) on Saturday. Most of the day was spent shooting a wedding (and a lovely wedding it was too), but when I got back home in the evening S had prepared a delicious birthday feast for me, which was pretty awesome. My presents this year have been pretty incredible as well, I can’t remember when I’ve gotten such uber birthday pressies before, if ever. Jumping the gun a bit, earlier in the month I bought a 45mm tilt & shift lens for myself, which we agreed with S was to be my main birthday present. I wasn’t 100% sure how much use I’d have for the lens, but it turns out I’m really loving it and use it at least once in every session. Another awesome present was my new phone. Since my INQ trial came to an end, and my old Nokia had died in the meanwhile, I really needed a new handset. Dad was kind enough to get me the Nokia E75, which is hands down the fanciest phone I’ve ever owned. And since it was purchased from Finland it has a ‘proper’ keyboard and everything – a bonus! Also, while in Finland, mum treated me to a facial and some Clinique stuff, which I couldn’t live without.

On the actual day I got lots of pressies from Susanna, one of them being her offering to assist me for free at the wedding, which was very kind of her indeed. I also unwrapped one present from her only to find a book I’d lent to her earlier, which was a bit peculiar, but thoughtful, as everyone hates a non-returning borrower. :D On closer inspection I saw that she had actually gotten my book signed by the author, none other than Mr Ethan Hawke himself! How awesome is that! (You must excuse me for I can’t seem to stop using the word ‘awesome’).

Three presents in one: Sooz posing with my Ethan Hawke autograph, taken with my new E75. :D

The biggest surprise awaited me when I got home from the wedding though, and went to transfer my images from the cards to the computer. I thought something looked ‘off’ with my desk, but I couldn’t quite put my finger on what it was. Only after turning the computer on did I eventually realised that there was a brand new 24″ wide screen monitor sitting on my desk! I was pretty gobsmacked I can tell you that much. :D It takes a brave person to try to surprise me, and S had definitely gone all out on this one. I must say that I love love love the extra screen space. I’ll just have to get the calibration right as I’ve now noticed that yesterday’s edits look awfully dark on the monitor here at work. Have now ordered a Spyder from eBay, and hopefully once it arrives I can truly enjoy the benefits of the new beast. Can I please say awesome again.

Thank you for all my amazing presents (oh including shopping vouchers from Marjut – woo!), and all the birthday wishes I got via text and Facebook. <3

Wednesday, 22 July 2009

Tap, tap, tap… is this thing on?

Will you look at this, it’s a genuine new blog entry. I bet you’re as flabbergasted as I am. Yes, talk about being busy! When ever I’ve said I’ve been busy in the past, I take that all back. This year has taught me the true meaning of being busy, in good and in bad, and it has made me ponder about the origins of the word business. :D The business has indeed taken off at a rate I couldn’t have dreamed of last year when I made the decision to start charging for my photography. It’s all happened so organically, intuitively, that sometimes I have to force myself to stop and really take in how fast it’s all happening. I feel extremely lucky, not in a stroke-of-luck kind of way, but in a way that makes me appreciate the fact that I possess a skill that people are willing to pay for – and if I work hard – has the potential of changing my life.

But for now, I just have to make sure it doesn’t kill me first. While I still have my full time day job as well, there just is no extra time for anything. Every waking hour is pretty much about work in some form, even if the photography side of things doesn’t really feel like work (but trust me, all the nitty gritty of running a business sure does). For now I’m just trying to keep my head down and plough on. If I get through this year in one piece, it will all be worth it in the end I hope. I have some amazing clients (now this does have something to do with genuine luck as well) and weddings in beautiful locations coming up next year. I really can’t wait. That goes for each and every one of them.

In other news, Miikka finally got married last Saturday, and even if it meant travelling all the way up to Juuka, of course we were there. We treated the (8 hours each way) drive as a road trip, as that was pretty much all the ‘holiday’ we’ll get this year. The weather was perfect and Finland was definitely showing its best. The only minus side of being on the road for most of the 4 days we spent in Finland was not having any time to meet up with other friends and family. You can look out for pictures of the wedding over at the wedding photography blog, but for now, here is a quick collection of snaps from along the way of our road trip.

Sunday, 21 June 2009

Out for count

Soo the cold I was trying to fight off developed into a full-on chest infection and really knocked me out for count. Annoyingly it meant that I had to reschedule consultations and a maternity shoot, which has now been moved a week further, which is making me feel a bit nervous and I’m really hoping that the baby doesn’t decide to arrive a bit earlier than expected. Fingers crossed we’re still good to go on the shoot next week!

Just to add insult to injury I (of course!) got ill on press week, and so I had to drag myself to the office on Friday, even though I lasted just for half a day. Still, that certainly wasn’t fun. I did get antibiotics and they started kicking in by yesterday, and today I’m starting to feel like a different person already, so phew. Next week is going to be pretty hectic so I’m very relieved to be feeling better.

I did make it through Claire & Hywel’s wedding last Saturday before the illness really hit me, and I’m glad I did as it was one of the nicest weddings I’ve ever had the pleasure to attend. Pictures are now up on the wedding photography blog.

Friday, 12 June 2009

Fighting colds and sipping cocktails

Oh my where does the time go.

I’m currently trying desperately to fight off a sore throat and a cold that’s trying to sneak up on me. If I can hold it at bay at least long enough to get through tomorrow’s wedding I’ll be happy…

Last night I went out for some cocktails with a few fabulous ladies. Me, Sooz, Kat, Chanelle, Liz, Ly and Rhiannon, among others, headed to the Cellar Door and took full advantage of their happy hour. Lots of fun was had and useful contacts created. I’m feeling really good about getting a bit of a network of like-minded photographers/wedding people going. Who ever says Twitter is useless just has no idea. Of anything. End of.

After my painful computer meltdown I fell so behind in all sorts things that I decided to admit defeat with my 365 Bokeh project. No matter how much I love doing it, when something becomes a chore it’s not really beneficial to try to desperately to fit it in… Perhaps I’ll pick it up again in the autumn when my calendar calms down a bit.

Oh and Maesha & Pete’s wedding is now up on the wedding photography blog. What a long, but fun, day that was!

Friday, 5 June 2009

A gentle reminder

xkcd – A Webcomic – Dreams

Too right! Found this via Kai.

Sunday, 24 May 2009

End-of-week round-up with added sea air

A little round-up of end-of-week happenings. Did manage to get the new magazine to press ok, so yay for that. Had two wedding consultations, and the couples were lovely. Friday night I headed off to the Photographer’s Gallery with few of my fellow Timeliners to check out The Photographic Object exhibition, which, to be perfectly honest, didn’t really do very much for me. I guess I’m just an old fogie but I just don’t get the whole ‘gimmicky idea=art‘ concept.

Yesterday I got a craving for some sea so we headed off on a little road trip in search of some seaside. We ended up somewhere close to Worthing, in a little place where evidently people only go to die. But still, I got to breath some sea air, which was nice. The trip was hampered somewhat by a headache that wouldn’t leave me alone all day.

Today I had an engagement shoot in Regent’s Park, and boy was it hot! It seriously made me rethink any dreams I had of shooting destination weddings on tropical islands. :D Jeez. I think I should consider specialising in winter weddings, much less sweating involved. Anyhoo, I’m about to edit some of today’s shoot now, before collapsing into bed. So it’s over and out from here.