Tonight I’ve seen the Matrix Reloaded for the third time. Unfortunately, with each viewing, it just keeps getting worse and worse. It might have something to do with a few too many rum & cokes, but this time the pseudo-babble was even more intolerable than before. And what about that rave in the cave. A rave. In a cave. For God’s sake. The official K-pax panel (see below) granted it, after some heated debate I must add, 3 1/2 K-pax’s. I’m pretty sure that in reality the half a point was docked only because of Trinity’s shiny outfit.
If you’re not familiar with the K-pax scoring system, you obviously haven’t seen the unforgettable film it’s based on. K-pax, the ultimate film in the ‘a movie that manages to be amazingly dire, whilst pretending to be good’-genre. Ok, let’s break it down.
1 K-pax – This movie might actually be quite good and entertaining. With only a slight whiff of K-pax at those awkward, ‘what is the meaning of life?’, bits.
2 K-pax – This movie seems alright up until the point when the alien turns out to be yet another squid thing that crawls under your skin. You know the type. A bit of K-pax.
3 K-pax – This movie might look shit, it could even be made for TV and have a cardboard set, but it’s saved by (depending on panel member) boobs or Michael Madsen. Kinda K-pax.
4 K-pax – This movie was probably made with the best (pretentious) intentions. It might look slick, have cool fighting scenes and even an impressive, albeit over-acting, cast. But then… ‘Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent… vis-à-vis… inexorably here… Ergo, those that refused the program… escalading probability of disaster…’ *snore*. And the rave. In the cave. What a load of K-pax.
5 K-pax – Total K-pax. Now, this is a hard act to follow. So far the only film to score this high is, the grandaddy of K-pax score, K-pax itself. It’s still in a class of it’s own, with its utter pretentiousness, and a ridiculous script. And Kevin Spacey as an alien. Honestly!
I hope it’s all become a bit more clear now. Altho, are you sure you didn’t already know the answer, and if you did, how could you make a choice if the future is deterministically fated? It is a pickle, no doubt about it.
