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Busy Making Other Plans

Personal musings of Marianne Taylor

Like cleaning a dirty window

10th December 2006

I don’t seem to have any time for these internet shenanigans these days! Sowwe. I’m so behind on all sorts of comments and stuff on all the sites and communities I’m a member of. I’m not too stressed about it or anything though; I’m kind of enjoying having my hands full with real life stuff.

I’m glad to report that my back got back to normal by Thursday or so. For a while there it felt like I was never going to be able to move without excruciating pain shooting through my spine. I have a whole new respect for people who deal with chronic back pain! It’s awful I tells ya.

So I promised a health update of sorts once I’d been on the meds for a while. Well, it’s been two months now, and I’ve definitely seen some changes. The biggest difference is the way I feel mentally, the brain fog has completely vanished and I feel like myself again. Cognitive functions have definitely improved and I can hold a conversation without losing my thought every five seconds. Which means I’ve also been in contact with people more. I have a lot more energy and the initiative to do things more. For so long, when ever I was asked to go somewhere my first thought was always ‘how do I get out of this?’. It’s nice to feel positive about new opportunities again. I’ve even signed up for new courses, and am gonna take up bowling again. 😀

So that’s the good news. Then the other stuff. My hair definitely feels softer and like my own hair again, instead of some hay wig, but it’s still falling out as much and hasn’t really started growing back any thicker. I suppose that’s something that’ll take more time though. Also, although I have a lot more energy, I get these awful tiredness attacks at times. I just feel so physically tired it hurts. The same has happened with feeling the cold; I’m not cold all the time anymore, but I get spells of feeling absolutely freezing. I can be under the cover with warm clothes and woolly socks on and feel frozen solid. It kind of comes from within, kind of like when you have high fever. I can even sit in a hot sauna and feel completely icy inside. Not so nice.

There’s other things as well of course, but those are probably the biggest changes. So yeah, all in all I’m feeling very positive. I can’t tell you how wonderful it feels to have a clear head after, well years really, of living in this fog and questioning my mental balance. It’s like cleaning dirty windows and realising how much more vivid the world actually is, it’s shocking to realise how used to the blurry picture you’d gotten over time.

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