It’s hard to be back at work. Like, super hard. It’s not just the work thing, but the whole having to deal with reality thing. And I’m not really ‘feeling’ reality at the moment. Everything seems to be a bit distorted and overly complicated and not fitting together quite like it’s supposed to. The job isn’t really giving me anything, but the occasional angst-attack, and life in general seems to be a bit off-track. I also feel like I’m watching a close relationship inexplicably crumble before my eyes and I can’t figure out why. I’m so tired of wondering why and second-guessing everything I say or do in case it’s the wrong thing. And I’m sort of at a point where I’m just tired of constantly feeling sad over it. Perhaps I never was on the same page to start with, and I’ll just have to deal with it and move on.
I have the worse headache and I’m so tired I might accidentally doze off any minute. I hope I’ll have enough energy to go through the road trip pictures tonight, or at least make a start on them. I shot a few films on the Holga as well, but one of them I managed to ruin when the back of the camera came off in the bag. Ho hum.
I can’t believe we’re working on the October issue of the magazine! Where on earth did this year go?? Or the summer… I really really have to get a grip and find some time to reschedule all the postponed photo shoots from the start of the summer. Damn. Can’t believe it’s Nikki’s and Ian’s wedding next week already either! And I still have nothing to wear… erm…
*Sigh*. Can’t I just sit on a cliff listening to the waves. Forever.
Kutri says
Returning to work after a holiday is hard enough without worries over a friendship. Sorry to hear that a thing like that is going on in your life. 🙁
Emmie says
You do sound unhappy! Sorry to hear that. Part of it is probably feeling blue after holidays. Hopefully you’ll get over it soon! Maybe some nice photo shoots will make you feel better ’cause your photos are brilliant.
And the summer really has gone past without anyone noticing it this year…
kim says
ahhhh….i just said bye to a friendship this summer as well. All of a sudden I realized that it was making me tired just to talk to this person. High maintenance friendship. I just couldn’t deal. I was sad, but then again I wasn’t. Hope things settle for you. Reality does tend to suck the big one.
Anonymous says
Book me a seat on the cliff next to you 🙂 Best sound in the world, waves hitting the shore. I will spend a year on a Greek island at some point, I swear.
Can’t believe it’s almost September! Who stole my August…
-Marjut