It’s hard to be back at work. Like, super hard. It’s not just the work thing, but the whole having to deal with reality thing. And I’m not really ‘feeling’ reality at the moment. Everything seems to be a bit distorted and overly complicated and not fitting together quite like it’s supposed to. The job isn’t really giving me anything, but the occasional angst-attack, and life in general seems to be a bit off-track. I also feel like I’m watching a close relationship inexplicably crumble before my eyes and I can’t figure out why. I’m so tired of wondering why and second-guessing everything I say or do in case it’s the wrong thing. And I’m sort of at a point where I’m just tired of constantly feeling sad over it. Perhaps I never was on the same page to start with, and I’ll just have to deal with it and move on.
I have the worse headache and I’m so tired I might accidentally doze off any minute. I hope I’ll have enough energy to go through the road trip pictures tonight, or at least make a start on them. I shot a few films on the Holga as well, but one of them I managed to ruin when the back of the camera came off in the bag. Ho hum.
I can’t believe we’re working on the October issue of the magazine! Where on earth did this year go?? Or the summer… I really really have to get a grip and find some time to reschedule all the postponed photo shoots from the start of the summer. Damn. Can’t believe it’s Nikki’s and Ian’s wedding next week already either! And I still have nothing to wear… erm…
*Sigh*. Can’t I just sit on a cliff listening to the waves. Forever.